Bad hands good Brain.

Day 300 of 365

The hands make what the mind tells it.
The only problem with this is that your brain is far more skilled than your hands will ever be.
At first glance that can be very discouraging.
We’ve all had that moment where we say I want to be a “blank” we try it we suck and we give up, or we try something new, like it then shortly after we realize how long the journey will take and we give up.
First things first, what I am talking about here are passions but can be applied to careers as well.
Whatever you are doing I hope it ignites something in your belly, and I hope you get fired up to learn more about it.
For me that’s always been photography, I can’t get enough I could look at it everyday and learn something new everyday and it’s fun for me, hence why I don’t mind doing it all the time.
Yet so often I am so displeased in what I create for example the pictures below were very hard for me to edit.
Sense I have been editing in a new software I have had to adjust to some new things and it has been very challenging.
I know what my brain wants but for some reason my hands cannot live up to my brains expectations or taste.
We have all felt that.
The secret sauce here is practice.
You will never obtain exactly the specifics of what your brain wants but you can get damn close.
There is a beauty in that imperfection.
Don’t waste time being discouraged by that the important thing here is to finish quick and finish often so that you can critique and move onto better projects.

Whatever it is you want to do keep practicing and if a door doesn’t open eventually kick one open.

Don't waste your life.

Day 299 of 365

A week without alcohol now and I feel similar to what I felt before.
Except this year I am a lot more excited about it rather than feeling punished.
I’m just glad I don’t have a hangover this morning.
It was also really great to stay in this weekend and use that time to learn new things and be productive instead of going out.
It made me feel free to learn whatever useless or useful information I wanted to invest my time into.
This is my 3rd year doing sober January and I’m stretching that this year to go 2 months alcohol free into February.
I first tried the 30 day no alcohol challenge because of my friend James Swanwick he does a much better job explaining the benefits.
What I can tell you is that I am already seeing my productivity levels go up.
I am also a lot hungrier than I was before, but I also have more energy.
I have to sleep 8 hours now which is very unlike me I normally sleep 6.
So far it is a very positive change.

There are a lot of things that distract us in our lives for me I do not need a drink every day but it’s far too accessible in the city and something that can easily distract me from my work.
I have a mission I am trying to accomplish right now, goals, and a lifestyle I want to fulfill.
If you feel the same way and something is getting in your way try removing it for 30 days.
Wether it be drama, youtube videos, instagram, facebook, wine, or masturbation (you know who you are guys)
remove the distractions and get done what you want to accomplish and see how happy it makes you.

Nothing keeps me in check quite like making conscious decisions because for me beer on the weekends is more of a routine than a choice.

What is your routine and what do you really want?


How to make money off photography.

Day 298 of 365

Occasionally I get the random person that bags me for having so many branded products.
I don’t buy them so I don’t care. About 4 years ago when I started working as an in house photographer I realized brands would give me all the stuff I wanted to buy as long as I just took photos of their stuff and sent it back to them.
Often this would lead to more paid work, connections, or references to recommend me to their friends brands.
Clothing in the outdoor world is a small community.

Long story short if you love taking photos and want to get compensated via free stuff and money heres what I did to get started.

First shoot everyday. Watch youtube tutorials so you can learn to edit.
You do not need school to learn how to make lifestyle photos.
Develop taste, find a specific style of photography that draws you in.
Emulate that.

Second email, email, email all the brands you can and try to keep it specific to things you are already doing.
I wouldn’t ask for golf clubs to shoot because I don’t golf and I live in NYC.
So if you’re a mom/photographer email companies that sell really amazing and expensive mom products or baby products. EX. Strollers, and other mom things.
You can collaborate with these companies on shoots and ask them for a budget as well.
At first most of these shoots will be for trade but once you’re comfortable knowing you can give the client what they want they you should work on budget projects only. $$$

Lastly, there are millions of ways to make money in photography or any creative endeavor for that matter you just need to find your nitch and build your skills.
Wether it be weddings, family photography, commercial, travel, fashion, fuck you can probably make a living being a turtle photographer as long as you’re good.
You can make up your own genre thats the beauty of this.

Whatever you’re interested in a brand will pay you to do it and here’s how you start.

Dear _______,

I am a photographer based in ______ . I really love your _____ blank and think it would work really well in one of my personal projects.
I will link my website (or portfolio) below.
Please let me know if you are interested.

All the best,
Atticus
AtticusRadley.com

Don’t be afraid to share what you know.
There are no secrets in any industry other than hard work.
Hope this helps some of you.

Day 297 of 365

There are two choices to make with every bad situation.
You either treat it with love or you treat it with fear.
Last night I put my clothes in the wash and I accidentally paid for the dryer first as the payment part of the machine is parallel to each other.
Theres about 20 other dryers in my building with none of them being used I figured no one would be such a jerk to come and use my dryer that I already paid for, no biggie.

After my clothes are done washing I head down to the laundry room in my building to find my clothes done and someone else’s clothes dried above mine.
I was pissed at first but I figured after a few minutes they 1 either need it more than I do or 2 are just an asshole and I should feel sorry for them that they need to steal from people.
That will catch up to them in some capacity.
The point I’m making here is that I should have started with love to begin with.

Wether it be someone hitting your parked car, stealing your stuff, or just being a dick to you treat them with love and keep your happiness.
Do not lower your energy to match theirs.
By reacting poorly you only reinforce negative beliefs for example me getting mad about a $2 dollar laundry only reinforces that money can be scarce.
Which is not true their are trillions of dollars in our country fresh for the picking and you can work on your own terms to get it.
React conciously.
Chose love not fear.

Practice positivity.

Day 296 of 365

With anything you get out what you put in but more importantly you get what you believe.
Obviously you have to have self awareness, I am not a 5’10 blonde supermodel, or a professional hockey player but I am generally a happy person because I chose to perceive most things as positive.

Positivity for me ebbs and flows particularly because I haven’t been practicing it enough.
With all things we need to train to obtain our desired outcome.
The same goes for our brains.
Naturally our brains seek out errors, in an effort to make things better.
When solved this makes us feel good.
This practice doesn’t work so well for things like relationships, or our lives, it’s better left for problem solving.
If all we ever notice in our partners are problems and things we need to fix, all we will ever see them for is an issue.
The same goes for our lives, I think it’s a balancing act.
Know that life is great and a blessing but that no one is perfect and that we should be excited to learn new things.
If you’re happy you’re doing something right, if your not well guess what you’re lucky because you’ve got some new things to research and implement into your life.

Chose to perceive your surroundings in a positive light and you will find yourself happier each day.

For me I’m grateful for the struggle of being a new freelancer.
Yeah at times it’s really tough but with each day I’m figuring it out.





Chose your pain wisely.

Day 295 of 365

Almost 10 years seasoned.
With cuffs still around my hands and ankles.
In love with the shape of this city but not with the shape of us.
It’s a toxic wave.
With the tide comes sludge, garbage, and the feeling of hypodermic needles.
You can only pine for the future with a present so sharp.
The only escape to swim with the tide, not against it.
Eventually the pain will escape you.

Any old day.

Day 294 of 365

I’m 26 today and it doesn’t feel like much of a big deal to me as 25 did. I guess with all things repetition can diminish value. Like going out to bars etc. In other ways repetition increases value for instance photographing and walking only become more appealing with each cycle. I woke up this morning questioning the value of my photography or why I do it at all. I started taking photos just to preserve memories I quickly noticed it made my friends really happy. It gave me some sort of purpose, some value other than just being there. I have come very far from that practice. Photography is simply a tool for me these days, like a paint brush or wrench. I use it more to preserve and express my current state. I am thankful for that. I don’t know why I feel the need to make marks, to preserve, or to pollute the world with my own confusion but I do. It makes me feel good to accomplish these small tasks, to vomit on paper or to preserve with a camera.

I hope to make things until the day I die because it’s the only thing that makes me lose track of time.

Don't spend your holidays alone.

Regressing is a choice.
So is happiness.
I guess holidays once used to be a good time for me.
I don’t feel that way anymore I haven’t for a while now.
Distance grows between siblings and family members they have their own lives now and it makes you question why don’t I have my own.
How do I start building my own?
Am I doing something wrong? Am I wronging them? Do they just not want me around anymore?
The answer is yes.
Family for me is not about blood, and it’s not about who’s there for you when you need them most.
Family is about who’s there for you when you need them least, and who’s most honest with you.
All else follows.
I know growing apart is natural it’s life but their are just some people you never want to grow apart from.
All that’s left to do is what makes you most happy.
Go to your favorite place, work out, do whatever you love to do most.
Invite people to join you if they don’t want to forget them.


Photographing downtown Waterbury, Connecticut.

Day 293 of 365

No matter how hard I try to get away the love I have for this city somehow finds me. Below these words are some selects from only a single roll of film I shot in downtown Waterbury, Connecticut. I met some really nice people, and I met some really not nice people. Luckily everyone in these photos were the nice ones. Beautiful people just looking to have a good day, get to work, fill their bellies, spend time with loved ones.

The heartbreaking part for me is the disparity in part because of the economic collapse of the industrial brass industry after WWII. The fact that the city still hasn’t found a way to bounce back after all these years blows my mind. I know little on the matter but from my memories growing up, Waterbury has had a slew of corrupt politicians. Not only that but we have not taken the time to invest in our schools, specifically at the high school and collegiate level. No 18 year old wants to go to a school that doesn’t have a massive sports facility, great job opportunities, and passionate alumni.

In the future, I’d like to see Waterbury rebuild itself. I’d like to see the beautiful, shops, law firms, bars, and restaurants filled with the immigrants that made this city all that it once was. I’d like to see successful people leaving a college town, and not the current state of which it sits. Getting stuck and dying from overdoses in the parking garage of the Waterbury mall is hardly what this city should have turned out to be, but that seems to be the reality here now.

More photos of this will be coming soon.

Focus consistently.

Day 292 of 365

Focus.
Black and white until cardinal red.

Hardly have I spoken of focus.
Consistency yes.
Disregarded the most important part.
You can live in a consistent gray all you’d like but until you take aim while you’re pissing you’ll never hit the toilet.

She focused in cardinal red. 

Photography in the physical world.

Day 291 of 365

I don’t think often about being remembered or about death.
I find when I am thinking about death too much I am doing too little and looking at other peoples lives over social media too often.
With that type of lifestyle it’s impossible ever to feel enough.
This brings me to my next point.
When your making all the time it’s easy to feel good but it’s hard to feel satisfied.
The tricky part is keeping your standards high and your quantity up while knowing that some projects are by nature going to fall short.
Not every project will be a winner.
Finish, focus, frequency, and most importantly quality have always been my goals but sometimes I have to remind myself of that to light a fire under my ass.

In the digital age we are living in it becomes hard to let our work marinate in our minds and our hearts.
We see one post and want the next and the next and the next faster with each cycle.
It’s making me crave the physical world.
Gifting photos, printing for my journals instead of them being just filled with words.
New photos correlating alongside the visuals of my life in each year as it passes.
Like a scrap book or family album of sorts.
There is a story to tell from each life and lessons to be learned from others mistakes and triumphs.

I don’t expect to be remembered when I die but while I’m here I hope I can make somebodies day just a little better in the physical world, not just online.

Break your cycle.

Day 290 of 365

(This was meant to be posted yesterday but we had a busy afternoon)

You can only bury somebody so many times.
This year finally did it for me. 
It was the last time I could mentally bury my father. 
I’m close to wrapping up a project I shot and curated about his existence and the empathy we should all strive for when dealing with our wrong doers. 
I was also able to speak in the presence of the man that killed my father this year and it felt pretty damn good. 
In some sense it was a form of closure for me. 
A chapter finished. 
From now on I’d like to remember my father for the good he did, his trips to Maine, his love for running, his passion for talking to strangers, and ability to have a good laugh. 
My mom painted a pretty picture of the man that would have raised us, she took us to his favorite places, and told us stories of him growing up.  Boy do I appreciate that now. Thanks Jeannine,
and as much as I don’t want to drink right now please bring on the Jager.

Open your eyes.

Day 289 of 365

I don’t have much to say today.
I’m grateful to have healed quite a bit from a nose surgery I had earlier this week and to finally be heading back to NY tomorrow.
It was good to be home and make some photos even though I was resting most of the time.
There is beauty in the everyday you just have to see it.

In ignorance of validation.

Day 288 of 365

Lately I’ve been frustrated with what I have been making.
Directionless.
No plan or intent.
It made me think about my life.
What I love about it and what I am struggling with.
The underlying theme is separation.
Growing apart in some areas and growing together in others.
Life is really freaking good right now and it’s exciting.
I’m finally starting to regain the passion for my words in my writing and visuals in my photos.
With this I’m working to work in ignorance of validation.
The only person that validated my best work was me.
I didn’t and still don’t need likes to make me create.
I create out of impulse.
Not to be remembered, not to make a mark on something before I die.
Simply to make because it makes me feel good.
Why I chose photography as a medium is an entirely different story.
What really been on my mind lately is why I let validation creep into my work?

Why did I stop experimenting?

Why was I trying to uphold an imagine for people I do not know.
The only person you should ever be better than is you yesterday, no competition with others, no external validation.
Figure out what makes you move and let it drive you.

Photographing Home in New England.

Day 287 of 365

In the past when I’ve met new women I’ve always asked questions relating to their favorite things, their family, their upbringing, their passions.
From the 3 women I liked most in my life so far they all spoke of a strong community and family presence while growing up.
Yet somehow over the years that dynamic faded for all of them.
Myself included.
I guess my question today, is separating gradually the nature of life?
Are all things impermanent?
Do all families grow apart as the kids reach 18 until we start our own families that are like baseballs fresh when they are new and with each year of use unraveling at the seams?

I’m sure their are families out there that have only gotten stronger as years pass and I’m sure their are families out their that are entirely made up of adults and not dependent on the young to be a reason for community.
What keeps these families together?
What does it take to make one of your own.

I seem act and think in very opposite ways on this matter.
I think a family is like a team.
When that team feels a pain mutually and they all strive to beat that pain they build a bond.
With that being said families are also like a team in the sense that if you want to play in the game you have to show up to practice.

For me I’m willing to take the pain, I’m willing to go to bat in any game, but for somethings I really hate showing up to practice.
Then I wonder why I don’t feel closer with my family or why we don’t do fun things with each other.
I mean don’t get me wrong when were all together it’s my favorite times but I don’t think I contribute as much as I could.

I guess as I write this now I’m understanding who the responsibility falls on. Myself.
If I want a closer family I guess all I have to do is give without expectation.
If anyone takes advantage of that well then their no family at all.





Bumping into walls.

Day 286 of 365

Selfish in ways I often do not understand.
I can’t see the outside of the car from the driver seat.
I’ve hit a few walls but this vehicle is still moving still going forward.
That’s the import part for me.
Forward.
Keeping this damn thing out of reverse because nothing new happens in reverse.
If you’re happy with where you are in life, put that shit in park.
If not the only direction to go is forward.
Praise the people that help you go forward and do the same for them. 

Stop reliving the same chapter.

Day 285 of 365

So often I stay with whats comfortable.
What’s predictable.
For some reason or another we stick with what we know but avoid change and growth.
We stay on chapters that should have been closed years ago that we know we should have closed.
By not closing old chapters we are missing all the new ones we have in front of us.
Let that person go, quit that job, start that business you’ve always wanted to start.
Growth is in the muddy areas of life, not the chapter you’ve been reliving like ground hogs day.
You know the outcome.
Let those characters stay in chapter 2 move on to chapter 3.

The most confident person I know.

Day 284 of 365

Below are some photos I made 2 years ago in studio at SVA.
I met Samoht the model in the photos at a trade show and I was instantly blown away by his energy.
(It’s hard to describe without meeting him in person and seeing for yourself but he is as cool as a cucumber, laid back but has so much intent when he speaks that everyone listens.)
Samoht is a performer easily one of the best singers I have ever heard but to hear him in person last night was an experience on an entirely new level.
He spoke of loving yourself, holding onto pain and when to let it go.
It was an emotional and entertaining experience but what stuck with me the most was his message.
Never spend time with anyone that makes you feel less than a king or a queen.
If people aren’t raising you up (and you are doing the same for them) then they are dragging you down.

Samoht has a very gospel sound but I will link a live video just so you can see how perfect this guys voice is I’ll also link his spotify as well.

SPOTIFY SAMOHT

Never stop.

Day 283 of 365

I’ve been spending a lot of my shooting time just noticing small details and avoiding people.
This is definitely the wrong thing for me to do right now.
So I decided to give myself the weekly goal of 1 model shoot a week.
I am doing 1 this week and will start again in January after the holidays.
Small goals have always lead the way to any paid jobs or success that I have had within photography.
When people see you making new things they take notice, you learn, and you feel better doing it.
I don’t think I will ever be satisfied but being a goal oriented person accomplishing that daily checklist and crossing each task off is something that makes the end of a long day really fruit-full.

If you know you’re avoiding things that need to get done make a list on paper and cross off each task in red sharpee. It feels damn good and as a freelancer it seem to keep me moving.