This blog is a mess and a bit stream of consciousness but freak it, hope it’s somewhat legible.
Have you ever felt like you loved someone or helped them way more then they would help you? I’ve felt really dumb for this before but you shouldn’t. I think this mentality comes from viewing ourselves as objects rather than as conscious people. It all really comes down to who you are. Are you a lover? are you mean? insecure, anxious, giving? Whatever you identify with never view yourself as a victim. This in itself puts you in an objectified state. For example, if you were a car and someone hit you on accident would you then go put a dent in their car in return. Fuck no you wouldn’t unless you’re an asshole. I guess if you identify with that then this blog isn’t for you so you can stop reading now.
If you identify as a good person or as a loving person you’d get out of that car and ask if the person that hit you is okay.
Then you would take your care to the auto body shop and give it some TLC.
So why when it comes to ourselves do we feel the need to throw emotional stones back at the people that hurt us, even if it is on accident. I think it has something to do with our egos and again viewing ourselves as objects. The important part here is how do we deal with that pain. Most of us hold grudges I have in the past as well but this is the emotional equivalent of putting a dent in someone else’s car. It’s entirely crap and limiting behavior. This will keep your energy low and keep you unhappy. Instead, I’m learning that when people are insecure, mean, rude, or hold grudges all you can do is show them, love. For the people in your life who only show you love, are always there for you and deserve the world well it’s our responsibility to show them double the love we give our enemies. My point here is there is nothing pathetic about giving love, even if you yourself fuck up, all you can do is be conscious of your mistakes moving forward and treat people good.
Today I am telling myself to give more.