Don't BS yourself.

Day 315 of 365

There is a beautiful feeling when you decide to be vulnerable and it is well received. On the other hand one of the worst feelings is when you put yourself out there and you are made to feel like a complete fool.
I guess the sweet spot is taking that on the chin and trying again.
I tend to value creative relationships and spaces.
Relationships in which you can create a new project, or a random idea and present it and with whole heartedness the person tells you candidly what they think.
I learned this from a friend I had in college who would frequently tell me “this is shit” when I would show him new photo ideas I was trying. Yet 1 out of every 20 photo prints sometimes way more than that he would say in his broken polish accent “This is bangin! the light is really nice, the subject is great maybe work on this.”

This changed my perspective on what it meant to be a good friend, and what true honesty really is.
I realized that the way I grew up in America values lying to someone to make them feel good rather then telling them your truth and allowing them to make changes.
Eg. When your friend is wearing something new and they ask you how you like it and you say you look great….but really you want to say woh I think those pants might be too tight.

I find myself lately falling back into that polite, lying, sense of honesty.
Instead of telling my true feelings.
This isn’t good because it allows you to be walked over in business, it doesn’t allow for a safe critique of your work, and most importantly it doesn’t allow the person your fluffing up to make changes or make their project better.

Being vulnerable in your creative, personal, and business pursuits and allowing people to truly critique your work is one of the fastest ways to grow.
It may be painful to hear that you fucked up or missed your mark on something but wouldn’t you rather have someone bring it to your attention so you can fix it rather than walking around oblivious to your short comings and having people talk about them behind your back.

My point today is that I am going to try and be more conscious this month about the critiques I give when people ask for them.
I am going to put my foot down when a client asked for too much and doesn’t pays too little.
You hurt yourself most when you’re not honest with good intention to other people.
So if I sound a little harsh this month just know it’s because I need to cut out the fluff.