I still write in my journal every day, over coffee and words. It’s usually verbal vomit—what’s top of mind, and sometimes small parts of it make sense.
Today it was about self-sabotage as I try to learn more about self-love. So much of what led me to create as a child came from loneliness and or pain. As I’ve worked on myself over the years, much of that pain has softened or been processed.
I had always feared that if there is no hurt, there would be nothing left to drive me, nothing to make me work or create. But I’ve found that the work I’m making now is a return to my childhood interests: less serious, less rooted in pain, and more connected to the joy I felt as a kid. The feeling of being covered in sand, sunburnt, and on the beach. My art feels more like blue collar work now than it did when I was sad. It’s more about being consistent daily and having fun with it. It’s more about the practice of Art rather than just the “Big” Projects I get paid for.
I prefer shooting on the coast of New England, and that’s where I intend to build my life’s work.
Many of us are driven by factors we aren’t fully aware of, and when you discover them, it can feel like that motivation collapses. Instead, I believe it reveals a stronger, healthier source of motivation—a better place for creation.
You don’t need to be in pain to make your best work. You just need to be curious, aware, and obsessed.
