Day 183 of 365

Go skate day and the underlying topic is indecision.  It resides at the top of my throat like acid reflux or a half-chewed Dorito that won't make its way down.  Every gulp of water only lodges it deeper into the in between.  A dangerous place for a cheesy snack from hell or any human.  "The in between."  I've been here before and I have never given my all to the things I am indecisive about.  The important thing is to get out of this area fast.  Make a decision stick with it.  

Indecision works in a damaging way, it strips you of your identity.  It can start with something as simple as, "I don't know where to go on vacation".  Understandable but there are a million great options out there.  Pick one it's very unlikely you will be disappointed.  These leads me to smaller examples of indecision which I believe are the most damaging to your identity.  Not knowing what you want to eat, what to wear, what to do tonight, stay in or go out? etc. Sticking with small decisions is the most import thing in building your identity and finding out what you want to do with your life.  It may be painful sticking with these decisions at first for example if you decide to go out yet as soon as you get there you'd wished you had stayed home.  It sucks but you made the decision be in the moment, embrace it, maybe leave a little early no harm in that.  Here's a worse option go out, get there, regret it, "should I stay or should I go" leave, go home, you've now chopped your night into fragments. 

  You do not get to invest yourself or dive into things when you only taste them for a brief period of time.  It is import to feel the pain of bad decisions they help us navigate away from those decisions in the future.  If you avoid those small painless decisions you run the risk of being just a beginner, a taster of 7 free samples and still ordered the wrong kind of ice cream, an OMG there are too many options for me to handle kind of person.  Don't get this twisted there is nothing wrong with being average or basic if you decide that is what you want to be, but if you are only average as a consequence of your lack of decision making, well then that is a tragedy. 

  There is a reason our culture is so obsessed with experts, celebrities, and pro athletes and that is because they are extraordinary in typically one area.  What is the difference between us and them?  They remove clutter and excess options from their lives.  Narrow your focus, build your identity, become who you want to be.  Or you can stay the same floating in an average purgatory for the rest of your days having never been the real you that is fighting to get out.  If you want more than that, the simplest way is to start by making decisions now.  Make the chose to try a new dish everytime you go to a restaurant.  Give yourself 60 seconds to decide.  Do not crumble or waste your time on tiny decisions, save that energy for the big ones.

There is no worse way to waste your life than by having no identity...even terrorists have an identity.  It's a powerful thing.  It can make you do amazing things or terrible things but it will make you do something which in my opinion is more iportant than doing nothing.