Day 184 of 365

What makes New York so beautiful is not the trash-filled streets it's the freedom to do and be whoever you want.

I'm going home Saturday just for one night.  I'm nervous about it.  I will enjoy the moments, being with people I love, and the nature surrounding us but I won't enjoy the limiting mindset of a small town.  The collective contentment is defining.  An education system that never allowed us to dream.  There are good families here but I can't even ride my bike around time without getting crushed by a drunk driver.  Can't walk around and take photos without getting the cops called on me.  Can't walk by my neighbors and bullshit about the coffee and the weather without looking like a weirdo.  It's a different lifestyle than I am used to right now.  In the past I had gone home to only make the best out of it, hike in the woods spend time with loved ones pretty typical stuff.  Now after much internal conflict and realizations, I have come to see Connecticut as the end of my dreams.  A crutch in a pretty cloak.  This isn't true for everybody but for me and my aspirations, it cannot work.  It took me a long time to realize that but for the rest of my days, I'll just be passing through.