How to drown.

Day 237 of 365

For as long as I could remember I’ve had an affinity for the ocean. From the time my brothers and I were babies my mother took us to the beaches in Rhode Island every summer. We’d spend our days in the water and end our nights with bon fires on the beach wrapped in sweatshirts eating reeses s’mores and telling ghost stories. My memories of the ocean are visceral, the smells and the feeling of salt on my skin are stained in my mind but days like yesterday really put into perspective how such a beautiful thing can so quickly turn into a beast.

I’ll start by saying this, I am not that strong of a swimmer. I never was on a swim team and I did not grow up on the ocean. I was and still am merely a summer tourist of the sea hence my naivety and lack of judgement when it comes to tides, swells, and the wind. Yesterday I paddled for 45 minutes trying to go with the tide to get out to the break. With no luck I was consistently battered by waves until I had to give up.
A short time later with ocean water still in my lungs I tried to get out again. This time it was a success. After some time waiting for a smaller waves I was slammed again completely out of gas and cramped under water. I tried a couple more times after this but even the most experienced surfers out there were hardly catching anything.

This experience was extremely humbling. The ocean and nature all together is not something to mess with and yesterday I had what I would call beginner syndrome.
When your so naive about difficult something is so you over estimate your abilities and end up biting off more than you can chew.

I’m still chewing.